30 DAY MUSIC CHALLENGE: Day 17 – A Song You Hear Often on the Radio

I’m baaaaaaaaaaack! Sorry for the hiatus, but I was getting kinda burned out on these and decided to take a few day breather. In the meantime, I pursued some venues which I hope will give this blog the exposure it so rightfully desires.

For starts, I am now a member of Goodblogs and have posted an entry that you can get access to by CLICKING THESE MAGICAL WORDS WHICH WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO A LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE AND GUM-DROP UNICORN KISSES. When you visit this website, be sure to register an account (it’s free and takes less than 5 minutes) and click the LIKE button in the left hand side. If I can get enough likes clicked, my blog goes to the front page and I get $20! Neat, huh?

Secondly, I am now a contributing writer to FindYourGeek.com which seems to be a pretty cool website. I’m spoken for, obviously, so it’s not going to work out, but if you’re a single nerd looking for that special someone to download bootleg anime with or argue about DC vs Marvel while having an intense sexy-time session, well, this is the place to go. My first article is a review of the new Captain America movie. CLICK THIS LINK, SOLIDER. FOR AMERICA!

Now, on with the show.

“E.T.” ~ Katy Petty feat. Kanye West

Look, I won’t lie, I like Katy Perry. I think she’s cute, I like her songs and think she has a nice voice. I also like Kanye West and yes, I am fully aware of the “I’ma let you finish…” fiasco he did several years ago. I think he’s one of the most talented lyricists out now and his latest album is just completely brilliant. So you would think putting Kanye and Katy together on a song would be gold, right? Wrong. “E.T” was a strong contender for song I hate, but was barely edged out by His Bieberness.

Anyway, as much as I disliked the song, apparently the rest of the world loved it because EVERY. SINGLE. STATION. played this song in their rotation, often several times a day. It was torture. I couldn’t stand her voice in the song, not to mention Kanye’s rhymes were just terrible. “Tell me what’s next/Alien sex!”

what

Thankfully, the radio has replaced it with her latest single “Last Friday Night” which is a thousand times better. Occasionally a radio station will play “E.T”, but it’s starting to fade away. And that’s a good thing. Not only is  “Friday Night” better, but it had Clarence (of Bruce Springsteen fame) absolutely dominating it on the saxophone.

But back to “E.T”, it’s just awful. Horrible. And yet it was on near constant loop, like a Satan’s iPod playlist. It’d be in the playlist called “SONGS TO TORTURE FORNICATORS TO” But hey, at least it’s not “Baby”

30 DAY MUSIC CHALLENGE: Day 16 – A Song That You Used to Love But Now Hate

Man, I was so into Rage Against the Machine back in the day. Don’t get me wrong, I still like them today, but back In The Day, I was really into them. I was raging against any type of political machine and was a loud supporter of Ralph Nader. I even voted for him in the 2000 Presidential elections. (Sorry, Al. I owe you one, buddy.) So imagine my heartbreak when Rage broke up. Those were bummer times, man.

But then they reformed with (then) former Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell, all seemed right with the world. True, it lacked the volatile “SCREW EVERYTHING!” message I was so in tune with, but I was happy to at least enjoy some form of their music. They formed under the name “Audioslave” and their first album was pretty good, especially the first single “Cochise.” Man, I loved that song.

But then a funny thing happened.

Chad Crider happened.

See, Chad is my good buddy/heterosexual life partner/former co-worker and we stay homies till this day. Chad is a fan of great music and he too enjoys the musical stylings of Audioslave, especially “Cochise.” So when he sat at his desk at work (which was right next to mine) he would play ‘Cochise.” And then he would play it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. It was like The Telltale Heart, but with electric guitar. I wanted to rip the CD out of his PC and scream “Here lies the squealing of the hideous guitar!”

But that’s not all, folks. No, no, you’ll soon understand why just the mere rhythm of this song will send me huddled into corner. Chad happened to enjoy gyros from our local (and let’s face, it Mansfield’s only) Greek restaurant. To say their gyros are delicious is to state that the sun is warm or water is moist. These are no ordinary gyros, but rather hand-crafted culinary masterpieces that seem to have descended from the golden hills of Flavor Mountain. Imagine if Thor found a lesser gyro and, growing angry like a god does, brought down the full fury of Odin on this poor gyro. He then used the Odinforce to forge a delicious combination of meat and pita bread, the likes of which man has never seen nor will see again.

Now Chad loved the gyros, we know this to be true. But in truth, the gyros did not love him. No, after about an hour of returning from lunch, a terrible ball of gas and suffering would begin to brew in Chad’s stomach. A vile, noxious concoction of olfactory punishing aromas that seemed to have wafted from the very anus of Beelzebub. Chad would listen to “Cochise” on endless repeat, all the while burping up this hellish gastronomical bio-weapon. Indeed, the fog was so punishing and dense that I’m surprised Homeland Security never arrested the man for possessing a Weapon of Mass-Destruction.

To this day I still can’t listen to this song. It’s like screeching weasels let loose in my brain, furiously clawing at my grey matter. It’s horrible.

So Chad, wherever you are now, crack open a cold Captain Morgan, buddy. Cause Day 16 is dedicated to you.