From the Desk of Mr. Zissman

The musings of an over-stimulated mind

Taste you can believe in

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Today I received a phone call from a phone number with a 202 area code. My cell phone’s caller ID not only shows me the number, but what city the caller is from as well. This one, apparently, happened to be Washington D.C. and after doing a quick Google search, I discovered it was a scam meant to rip of college students.

Needless to say, this broke my heart. Seeing a phone number from Washington D.C. made me think my homie B-Rock “The Islāmic Shock” Obama was calling me to invite me over for a beer. (I did vote for him, so he at least owes me that.) But no, it was some slimy ass scum bag scammers. And besides, I don’t drink beer and would probably ask B-Rock to bring me a Pepsi instead.

But this got me to thinking….Pepsi would be a wonderful way for B-Rock to stimulate the economy! Simply take all the money used for bailouts and Cash For Clunkers and instead build several big-ass Pepsi factories in states hit hardest by the recession. (ex: Ohio, Michigan, California, etc.) And all these Pepsi factories will only make Pepsi Blue, Pepsi Throwback and Crystal Pepsi. These brands ONLY.

Next I thought me and B-Rock could just split a 24-party pack, but then people would accuse him of being a dictator. So then I thought we would split some of it with random peeps in D.C., but then people would think he’s a Socialist! UGH. So I figured let’s go all capitalist on this and CHARGE people! You’d have to hire people to build the factories, and then hire people to work in them, and distribute them to the country. People collect a paycheck, they spend their money, money goes back into the economy.

Plus, this works out cause I miss Pepsi Blue and Crystal Pepsi and Pepsi Throwback should be a 24/7 brand, not some random seasonal crap. We could even get Sammy Hager to come out of retirement and sing “Right Now” to a Pepsi commercial.

RIGHT NOW….OVER 10,000 JOBS ARE BEING CREATED

RIGHT NOW….CRYSTAL PEPSI IS COMING BACK

RIGHT NOW…AMERICA IS GETTING A TASTE IT CAN BELIEVE IN

So Obama, if some chance you happen to stumble across my blog, PLEASE give me a call and let’s do this, man. We can do this, home skillet. It is a taste that I believe in.

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Written by MrZissman

08/18/2009 at 12:55 AM

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